508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
