Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
