he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
