please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
