Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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