Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
