Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
