and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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