I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize