chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
