I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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