About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
