Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize