I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
