Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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