guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
