So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize