My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize