i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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