How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
