You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
