I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
