I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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