You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Too much gin, very little bucket
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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