I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
