on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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