Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
