I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
