It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize