so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
