I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
