Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
