adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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