the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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