omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize