So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
