Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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