This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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