I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
