Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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