i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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