White coat. Heels.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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