So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize