dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
