Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
