Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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