What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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