At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
