Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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