Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
