you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize