Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
