i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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