Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
