But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
