I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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