I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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